I made it safely to Korea and at the moment I don't have internet service in my apartment, which is fabulous if I do say so myself...anyways. I will post something as soon as I get situated which should be sometime next week.
So many interesting stories so far and I haven't even been here a week.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Today
It has been a lifelong dream. To find out more about myself and the elusive country that is Korea. Not much is known about the country I call my birthplace. Of course there are dozens of assumptions. I have been asked if I was going to North Korea for example. Yeah, like that is likely.
But everyone is like....Korean!
And that is different how? I lived in ATL for five years, where black people are the majority everywhere I go. I worked at a predominately black school. Two white kids, maybe handful Hispanic children and four white teachers. So on and so forth.
Your point?
But you will be an outsider!
I am mixed. I am perpetually an outsider. And?
Moving on....
Not many people put Korea on their to-see-and-do list. Which is fine by me. I decided to go to Korea for personal reasons and not leisurely ones. Although there are definitely sights to be seen!
At 30 years old, I felt that with all my experiences there was another part of me missing. Who am I? Of course I know that my blood is Korean and black, but what does it mean to be Korean?
What is it that I am at times and what is it that I am not.
And good God, why is my mother the way that she is. I always wrote it off as a cultural thing. So maybe I just want to verify it.
It is no coincidence to have reconnected with my Korean side of my family in the past couple of weeks. The timing was impeccable. For the first time in my life, I will meet my uncles and cousins who reside in Suwon one day in the years ahead.
I wonder how that will play out considering the language barriers that will divide us while simultaneously the familial bond that will draw us close.
There are so many things to discover and although I will be in awe of the new experiences to be had.
But...Forever I love Atlanta.
The good, bad and ugly of it all. It is home.
Can't wait to see you all this Christmas.
But everyone is like....Korean!
And that is different how? I lived in ATL for five years, where black people are the majority everywhere I go. I worked at a predominately black school. Two white kids, maybe handful Hispanic children and four white teachers. So on and so forth.
Your point?
But you will be an outsider!
I am mixed. I am perpetually an outsider. And?
Moving on....
Not many people put Korea on their to-see-and-do list. Which is fine by me. I decided to go to Korea for personal reasons and not leisurely ones. Although there are definitely sights to be seen!
At 30 years old, I felt that with all my experiences there was another part of me missing. Who am I? Of course I know that my blood is Korean and black, but what does it mean to be Korean?
What is it that I am at times and what is it that I am not.
And good God, why is my mother the way that she is. I always wrote it off as a cultural thing. So maybe I just want to verify it.
It is no coincidence to have reconnected with my Korean side of my family in the past couple of weeks. The timing was impeccable. For the first time in my life, I will meet my uncles and cousins who reside in Suwon one day in the years ahead.
I wonder how that will play out considering the language barriers that will divide us while simultaneously the familial bond that will draw us close.
There are so many things to discover and although I will be in awe of the new experiences to be had.
But...Forever I love Atlanta.
The good, bad and ugly of it all. It is home.
Can't wait to see you all this Christmas.
Friday, July 25, 2008
Today/Two-day(s)
It has been an interesting couple of days so i will summarize:
1. Storage unit is supposed to be climate controlled..found it sweltering...not happy with response with desk clerk. Got to call corporate tomorrow to complain and get a discount. Really worried about my furniture.
2. Got accused of shoplifting at Marshalls. I had the receipt for the item and still got no apology. Got to call corporate tomorrow. Don't have time for lawsuits.
3. Worried about Lint's transportation. Now it is okay. Thank you Korean Air. Or should I save the thanks until he arrives on Monday alive and well?
4. My cell will be off while I am away and I have no charges...plus I get to keep my number and can turn my service back on when I am home. Awesome. Thanks AT&T.
5. Got my check ready for CarMax to sell my car tomorrow. I will miss you Camry. Thanks for being a great car.
6. Dad doesn't want dialysis again. At the same time he doesn't want to die. Throughout all the explanations, he isn't getting it. He will probably change his mind again.
7. I have awesome friends! Thanks to Jamilica for helping me really organize and get my stuff together. Thanks to Akosua for helping me return my work materials and stuff to storage. Also, I love my gift Akosua! It was a collage decorated picture frame, passport holder and luggage tag. :)
8. I feel like I am forgetting something.
9. Emailed all my friends. I will send out a mass text too with my information.
10. I can't believe I am leaving!!!!!
1. Storage unit is supposed to be climate controlled..found it sweltering...not happy with response with desk clerk. Got to call corporate tomorrow to complain and get a discount. Really worried about my furniture.
2. Got accused of shoplifting at Marshalls. I had the receipt for the item and still got no apology. Got to call corporate tomorrow. Don't have time for lawsuits.
3. Worried about Lint's transportation. Now it is okay. Thank you Korean Air. Or should I save the thanks until he arrives on Monday alive and well?
4. My cell will be off while I am away and I have no charges...plus I get to keep my number and can turn my service back on when I am home. Awesome. Thanks AT&T.
5. Got my check ready for CarMax to sell my car tomorrow. I will miss you Camry. Thanks for being a great car.
6. Dad doesn't want dialysis again. At the same time he doesn't want to die. Throughout all the explanations, he isn't getting it. He will probably change his mind again.
7. I have awesome friends! Thanks to Jamilica for helping me really organize and get my stuff together. Thanks to Akosua for helping me return my work materials and stuff to storage. Also, I love my gift Akosua! It was a collage decorated picture frame, passport holder and luggage tag. :)
8. I feel like I am forgetting something.
9. Emailed all my friends. I will send out a mass text too with my information.
10. I can't believe I am leaving!!!!!
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Yowza! Four Days!
Yeah, I went through a wee bit of an emotional roller coaster the last few days.
You are so brave!
So adventuresome!
Oh, to be young!
Wish I could do that!
Sheesh. To be honest people... I am chickenshit. I am not that daring. I usually just take calculated risks. Considering that I have been thinking about this, researching it, weighing out the pros and cons for years. How daring can I be? Oh, the initial leap you say...
You ever see those cartoons, particulary Wil.E. Coyote running like mad and he is chasing the road runner only to find that he is no longer on land, but suspended in air...staring at you with those helpless big doey eyes as he momentarily pauses to hold up a sign reading "HELP" before he plummets face flat hundreds of feet below and you see that puff of a dust cloud. weeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwuuuuuuhhhhpuggghhh.
poof.
Ouch.
Good ol' Wil.E. was a planner, he organized and planned his attack, tactics and ordered some impressive stuff out of that ACME catalog, the Amway of Looney Tunes. It didn't matter though.
How much he planned.
Strategized.
Plotted.
He could never predict that inevitable feeling of Aww..shittt. Or in G-rated terms. Help!
He always got up and attempted again though and chased his dream of scrawny road runner basted legs.
While I had been reassuring all my friends and family that I will be home at Christmas and summer. I thought repeating that over and over had comforted me as well over the past few months, but the last few days had been incredibly rough.
I guess what I am saying is that fear can be crippling. I was literally sick with the idea of moving almost 8000 miles away from my family and friends. I didn't stop crying from Friday until Monday. For some reason, the movers came today and I was A-okay. Ready to roll. Just like our old relentless coyote above.
So, I have my guest room now established as my room in my own house. It is furnished with my guest bedroom furniture and my belongings for when I return home. So it will feel like I never left even if the rest of the house will have my new "roommate's" belongings.
A mini-rant for the day:
I went to take the kitties to the vet at 7am for a drop off. Appointment was at ten, but the movers were at the house so I had to drop of the duo...I went to pick them up at 7pm since no one called to tell me to and they close at that time. Yes, they usually call.
The vet tells me that I may need a USDA stamp. All the stuff I read on the internet did not specify that. I was not arguing with the man about the need for the stamp if he thought so. I was upset because he had my kitties all day and didn't pick up the phone and tell me this so I could figure it out. He said he didn't know I was traveling internationally. I told the ninny nurse that a few weeks ago at Lola's appt. I also said it again upon check in.
So I lost a whole day when I could have called today to beg for an appointmet. I also don't understand why the vet wouldn't know about these matters...I mean that is your job right? People come in for health certificates all the time. Should you have a list or database of what countries require what. I tell ya. As a teacher, if I had no idea what the standards were or what is required for someone to learn, I would be under so much scrutiny.
So I will be calling the USDA first thing in the morning to beg for an appointment ASAP to pay and additional twenty some odd bucks for a stamp. The office it seems is about 40 minutes away.
But....I am also supposed to be selling my car tomorrow. We'll see.
Wednesday here I come!
Saturday, July 19, 2008
How life works...
Even with my excitement of moving to Korea and travelling throughout Asia, I could not help but wonder if I really should be doing this.
My father was sick over the fourth, and had to be admitted to the hospital. At first I didn't visit him, because of previous times of uneventful emergency room visits, where nothing has been seriously wrong.
This time was different.
I received a call from his doctor asking me to come in. We wound up talking over the phone and I found out that my father will probably need dialysis much sooner than later. A few months prior his general physician said that it would probably be 2 years before he needs treatment, considering that his kidneys were functioning at 30 percent. But you can't predict these things. His kidneys were now performing at 5 percent. His blood pressure was through the roof. I had to make a decision whether to have him on dialysis or not. Although dialysis is not a lifesaving measure as the doctor kept repeating. Choosing not to though could be deadly according to the internet with a 2 day or 2 week death sentence.
At that previous doctor appointment, my father was told about the dialysis treatment in which he said he didn't want treatment. That he didn't want resuscitating measures. He wanted to go. I was devastated. But that is not my choice even though I am his power of attorney. He told me that he didn't want to live that way.
So now listening to this doctor on the phone, my father's request pressed again my heart along with the impeding departure day. What to do.
I went to visit him, with my friend and her mom driving me there, because at this point I was sobbing uncontrollably.
I wanted to ask him again, in front of the doctor, what the ultimate goal for his remaining years would be.
He agreed to go on dialysis if necessary. 3 times a week. 3-4 hours a day.
He turned to me and said I love you girl.
I sputtered the same sentiment and turned to walk out the room to cry.
My strength is what keeps him. He can't see me worried or devastated. What would that do to his blood pressure, his mind, if his daughter was weak with worry.
That is the story of me essentially. Always trying to remain strong. And sometimes in that process I come off as too hard my own damn good.
At times I feel that no one is strong for me. At that moment, I felt that my dad was being strong for me, the only way he knew how or could do. Stay alive. He asked me when I was getting married. The first time he asked me that in all my years. I told him that he would have to wait and see. He nodded and said that he will.
That made me realize...I am 30 and single. When I return I will be 32 and probably single. That is for a whole other blog in itself.
My father was sick over the fourth, and had to be admitted to the hospital. At first I didn't visit him, because of previous times of uneventful emergency room visits, where nothing has been seriously wrong.
This time was different.
I received a call from his doctor asking me to come in. We wound up talking over the phone and I found out that my father will probably need dialysis much sooner than later. A few months prior his general physician said that it would probably be 2 years before he needs treatment, considering that his kidneys were functioning at 30 percent. But you can't predict these things. His kidneys were now performing at 5 percent. His blood pressure was through the roof. I had to make a decision whether to have him on dialysis or not. Although dialysis is not a lifesaving measure as the doctor kept repeating. Choosing not to though could be deadly according to the internet with a 2 day or 2 week death sentence.
At that previous doctor appointment, my father was told about the dialysis treatment in which he said he didn't want treatment. That he didn't want resuscitating measures. He wanted to go. I was devastated. But that is not my choice even though I am his power of attorney. He told me that he didn't want to live that way.
So now listening to this doctor on the phone, my father's request pressed again my heart along with the impeding departure day. What to do.
I went to visit him, with my friend and her mom driving me there, because at this point I was sobbing uncontrollably.
I wanted to ask him again, in front of the doctor, what the ultimate goal for his remaining years would be.
He agreed to go on dialysis if necessary. 3 times a week. 3-4 hours a day.
He turned to me and said I love you girl.
I sputtered the same sentiment and turned to walk out the room to cry.
My strength is what keeps him. He can't see me worried or devastated. What would that do to his blood pressure, his mind, if his daughter was weak with worry.
That is the story of me essentially. Always trying to remain strong. And sometimes in that process I come off as too hard my own damn good.
At times I feel that no one is strong for me. At that moment, I felt that my dad was being strong for me, the only way he knew how or could do. Stay alive. He asked me when I was getting married. The first time he asked me that in all my years. I told him that he would have to wait and see. He nodded and said that he will.
That made me realize...I am 30 and single. When I return I will be 32 and probably single. That is for a whole other blog in itself.
7 days!
It was a busy week.
Monday, my mom came into town to say goodbye. We both had to visit the Korean consulate, she needed to get her Korean passport that she lost years back and I had my visa issuance number finally that needed to get stamped in my passport. We first had lunch at Han Il Kwan, our favorite Korean restaurant. It was great to see my mom and she informed me that she will be moving back to Savannah, Georgia. I was happy that she would not be far away from me when I came back home to visit.
While waiting for the consulate to reopen after lunch, she finally called her sister and niece that she had not spoken with since I was in 2nd grade. I was glad that they reconnected.
We said goodbye in the International Tower parking deck and I held back tears by reassuring myself that I will be back during Christmas.
I have to return to the consulate to pick up my passport Monday.
Monday, my mom came into town to say goodbye. We both had to visit the Korean consulate, she needed to get her Korean passport that she lost years back and I had my visa issuance number finally that needed to get stamped in my passport. We first had lunch at Han Il Kwan, our favorite Korean restaurant. It was great to see my mom and she informed me that she will be moving back to Savannah, Georgia. I was happy that she would not be far away from me when I came back home to visit.
While waiting for the consulate to reopen after lunch, she finally called her sister and niece that she had not spoken with since I was in 2nd grade. I was glad that they reconnected.
We said goodbye in the International Tower parking deck and I held back tears by reassuring myself that I will be back during Christmas.
I have to return to the consulate to pick up my passport Monday.
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
18 days, well let's say 17...today doesn't count
Taking a break from packing up my kitchen.
Yesterday, I got a visit from my dad from Seattle. He is not my biological father, but he has been a father figure in my life since I was in 9th grade. He was passing through since he visits family in Alabama yearly. I talked to his wife on his cell and she gave me her brother's number to contact when I arrive in Korea. I have met him and his daughter several times over the course of the years for significant familial events and what not. He is a nice man, but I don't speak Korean so we rely on hand gestures and translations from his sister. His daughter speaks English though, so maybe she can show me around. I always feel weird about calling people out the blue, especially when we don't socialize on a regular basis or have some sort of bond. At this point though, I will need all the familiarity in an unfamiliar place.
Other than that short visit yesterday I didn't do too much.
I emailed about my visa issuance number and they said there is a delay for a few days. I am oh so glad I don't have to travel to the consulate! How inconvenient that would be if the consulate was not in my city.
Today my entertainment delight will be gone. I will be saying goodbye to my 50 inch Samsung plasma that I purchased at an awesome deal this past Christmas season. I have sold it to my dear friend G. I am glad that I didn't have to store this thing! I hope she enjoys it tonight as much as I did for these short months.
Well, off to eat some shin ramyeun and back to packing!
Yesterday, I got a visit from my dad from Seattle. He is not my biological father, but he has been a father figure in my life since I was in 9th grade. He was passing through since he visits family in Alabama yearly. I talked to his wife on his cell and she gave me her brother's number to contact when I arrive in Korea. I have met him and his daughter several times over the course of the years for significant familial events and what not. He is a nice man, but I don't speak Korean so we rely on hand gestures and translations from his sister. His daughter speaks English though, so maybe she can show me around. I always feel weird about calling people out the blue, especially when we don't socialize on a regular basis or have some sort of bond. At this point though, I will need all the familiarity in an unfamiliar place.
Other than that short visit yesterday I didn't do too much.
I emailed about my visa issuance number and they said there is a delay for a few days. I am oh so glad I don't have to travel to the consulate! How inconvenient that would be if the consulate was not in my city.
Today my entertainment delight will be gone. I will be saying goodbye to my 50 inch Samsung plasma that I purchased at an awesome deal this past Christmas season. I have sold it to my dear friend G. I am glad that I didn't have to store this thing! I hope she enjoys it tonight as much as I did for these short months.
Well, off to eat some shin ramyeun and back to packing!
Monday, July 7, 2008
Day 19 is it?
Today was a day of half ass packing. I decided to spend the night with my BFF since I was enticed by crab legs. I love seafood.
I woke up this morning and began to pack up my kitchen non-essentials. Like that Crock Pot, I use only at Thanksgiving, the rice cooker my mom gave me, the deep fryer and my bar glasses. So one more box complete!
Going to Target will be missed. Although after hearing about Emart and Lotte, I think I can acclimate nicely. I bought my Purpose face wash and some gallon bags to pack all my beauty products. I have sensitive skin so I have to pretty much use Aveeno or fragrance free products. I don't know much about the beauty products available abroad so I would rather be safe than sorry. Once my mom bought me some Laniage skin stuff, which I know they sell in Korea, but I found it too watery.
Who knows what tonight will bring, I might stay in and pack some more. I might go out with friends.
The movers are still coming on the 16th. I considered changing the date but decided not to because I want to be done with packing. Done.
I woke up this morning and began to pack up my kitchen non-essentials. Like that Crock Pot, I use only at Thanksgiving, the rice cooker my mom gave me, the deep fryer and my bar glasses. So one more box complete!
Going to Target will be missed. Although after hearing about Emart and Lotte, I think I can acclimate nicely. I bought my Purpose face wash and some gallon bags to pack all my beauty products. I have sensitive skin so I have to pretty much use Aveeno or fragrance free products. I don't know much about the beauty products available abroad so I would rather be safe than sorry. Once my mom bought me some Laniage skin stuff, which I know they sell in Korea, but I found it too watery.
Who knows what tonight will bring, I might stay in and pack some more. I might go out with friends.
The movers are still coming on the 16th. I considered changing the date but decided not to because I want to be done with packing. Done.
Sunday, July 6, 2008
20 days or so...
So, I am sitting on my bed with a certain Siamese kitty sprawled out twitching in her sleep. She doesn't seem to mind the massive mountain range of clothes surrounding her. Matter of fact, I believe she prefers it as comfort due to the torrential rainstorm happening outside. My electricity went out and returned. DirecTV is not as responsive.
It is the perfect day to pack.
I have started to work through my closet and sort out the things I want to keep, the things I want to take and the ish that's gotta go. Not such an easy task. I have started having private debates with myself about shoes that are cute but I haven't worn in forever and don't want to give away. Same arguments about my clothes. How many hoodies do I really need? Really.
So, I am taking a break to blog about some exciting news.
Myspace is the 21st Century Sherlock Holmes. My cousin, who I have not seen or spoken to since I was maybe in 2nd grade found me on the social network yesterday. I talked to my 2nd cousin who is stationed with the Marines in California, my cousin and my aunt who live in Arizona. Who knows why my mother did not keep in touch with her only sister, but that is a responsibility I am leaving to her. I told them I would give their number to her to call, because my mother is quite peculiar in family matters.
Perfect Timing. I wish I could see them before I moved to Korea. I told them to let my uncles, who I found out live in Suwon, Korea, that I will be moving there and would love to meet them.
This is part of the reason why I am moving to Korea. I want to know my history. My people. Me.
Them finding me, prompted me to look on Myspace for my brother, who I think I found as well, but his profile is private and he has not checked his page since March. I emailed him on Myspace and Facebook in hopes to meet him before I go. Coincidentally, he lives right here in Atlanta. Life is the ultimate prankster.
I also found my other cousin on Myspace, who I hope contacts me. Living with his family was a period in my childhood that was most memorable and normal.
Oh, and although it was supposed to be a surprise, I am having a going away party the weekend of the 17-20. And my Best in the West, (friend from Cali) is coming! These are the times I feel so loved. I may not have many friends, but the ones I have are the best that love can find. Especially since my bestest friend is planning this shinding and is the best party planner. I can't wait for her supposedly secret...but I now know...business is a huge success! She will do great!
So, I am going to get of my tush and begin packing again. The last thing I want is to spend my last moments rushing to pack.
It is the perfect day to pack.
I have started to work through my closet and sort out the things I want to keep, the things I want to take and the ish that's gotta go. Not such an easy task. I have started having private debates with myself about shoes that are cute but I haven't worn in forever and don't want to give away. Same arguments about my clothes. How many hoodies do I really need? Really.
So, I am taking a break to blog about some exciting news.
Myspace is the 21st Century Sherlock Holmes. My cousin, who I have not seen or spoken to since I was maybe in 2nd grade found me on the social network yesterday. I talked to my 2nd cousin who is stationed with the Marines in California, my cousin and my aunt who live in Arizona. Who knows why my mother did not keep in touch with her only sister, but that is a responsibility I am leaving to her. I told them I would give their number to her to call, because my mother is quite peculiar in family matters.
Perfect Timing. I wish I could see them before I moved to Korea. I told them to let my uncles, who I found out live in Suwon, Korea, that I will be moving there and would love to meet them.
This is part of the reason why I am moving to Korea. I want to know my history. My people. Me.
Them finding me, prompted me to look on Myspace for my brother, who I think I found as well, but his profile is private and he has not checked his page since March. I emailed him on Myspace and Facebook in hopes to meet him before I go. Coincidentally, he lives right here in Atlanta. Life is the ultimate prankster.
I also found my other cousin on Myspace, who I hope contacts me. Living with his family was a period in my childhood that was most memorable and normal.
Oh, and although it was supposed to be a surprise, I am having a going away party the weekend of the 17-20. And my Best in the West, (friend from Cali) is coming! These are the times I feel so loved. I may not have many friends, but the ones I have are the best that love can find. Especially since my bestest friend is planning this shinding and is the best party planner. I can't wait for her supposedly secret...but I now know...business is a huge success! She will do great!
So, I am going to get of my tush and begin packing again. The last thing I want is to spend my last moments rushing to pack.
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Day 24
So I am sitting here now surrounded by boxes and clear tubs preparing to pack. I got my new camera in the mail yesterday! Yayyy. Love you Amazon! So pics will be up soon of my move to Korea.
I hate packing. However, I am quite the pro. If I had to be out of here tomorrow...I could move this whole house. I am also the type that doesn't throw out boxes. You never know when you will have to move. I did buy some new ones though because I want to stack them neatly in the storage unit. I am a professional mover due to my father being in the military and as I got older, I also changed residences and locales often.
I like new environments, because you can renew yourself.
So, my goal tonight is to really pack the office. Really. I have been saying that for a week or so and haven't gotten around to it. Since I no longer will be workng at home, I can easily pack up my work materials so that I can drop them off at the main office. That's a lot of damn books.
Ughh..
When it becomes a choice between packing and hanging with friends, I choose the latter. I hope someone invites me out for drinks tonight. :)
I packed three boxes so far, consisting of wall decor, pillows etc. I am taking a break from that labor intensive packing.
Ultimately the goal is to be packed by the 13th. I think I will make it.
I hate packing. However, I am quite the pro. If I had to be out of here tomorrow...I could move this whole house. I am also the type that doesn't throw out boxes. You never know when you will have to move. I did buy some new ones though because I want to stack them neatly in the storage unit. I am a professional mover due to my father being in the military and as I got older, I also changed residences and locales often.
I like new environments, because you can renew yourself.
So, my goal tonight is to really pack the office. Really. I have been saying that for a week or so and haven't gotten around to it. Since I no longer will be workng at home, I can easily pack up my work materials so that I can drop them off at the main office. That's a lot of damn books.
Ughh..
When it becomes a choice between packing and hanging with friends, I choose the latter. I hope someone invites me out for drinks tonight. :)
I packed three boxes so far, consisting of wall decor, pillows etc. I am taking a break from that labor intensive packing.
Ultimately the goal is to be packed by the 13th. I think I will make it.
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